Child Discipline: Why Parents Fail


Why Parents Fail

According to Andrew Murray, parents score high in addressing the physical and material needs of children, but fail  bigtime in addressing their spiritual needs. Failing to train and discipline in the way of the Lord have eternal consequences. They will be like the sons of Eli who were punished by God because he failed to restrain them. ((I Samuel 3:13).

But children taught to fear God will do well even they get older. They also have in their hearts the conviction to raise godly offspring, proliferating godly seeds.

What are the causes of Parental Failure:

  • Lack of recognition of parental authority.  Ruling our household is a duty to the command of God. If we consider that God is the center of our home, we will strive hard to discipline our children so they will honor and obey God. If we fail to do that, we are loving our children more than God.
  • Not looking at disciplinary opportunity as learning opportunity for our children. Disciplining a child is hard, it is tiring. But every discipline encounter is a teaching/learning opportunity for children. This will make disciplinary episodes fewer and fewer as they grow older.  Grace comes as we deal with our children in a godly way.
  • Lack of strength and motivation to discipline because our spiritual tank is running dry. We need supernatural strength in disciplining our children because we are fighting two beasts: Our child’s sinful heart and our sinful environment. We need the grace to win the battle. This grace comes through our Bible reading, prayer and our daily personal devotion. We must also fellowship with sisters who can encourage us. We must strengthen our relationship with God first before we can be strong enough to face the challenges of raising our children in His nurture and admonition.
  • Lack of understanding of the consequences of parental failure.
  • The word “consequence” is a grievous word because we can’t correct its outcome. Not to discipline our children is to invite disaster and chaos in the family. If we are doing our duties of disciplining and training our children, we are obeying God and we are also teaching our children to honor God. Both parents and children will be blessed.

   How to avoid Parental Failure

  • Determine to do God’s will.

Please read Judges 13:6 – 12. Manoah was deliberate in knowing the will of God as to how Samson will be raised. Manoah confessed his ignorance. But confident that when God has given a task, He will also give the grace to do it right. This should be the attitude of Christian parents.

The angel answered:

“Of all that I said unto the woman let her beware, all that I commanded her let her observe” (Judges 13:13, 14).

The woman should separate from the world. For us mothers, this requires a life of submission to the perfect will of God, and a life of consecration to Him. This means sacrifice and self-denial.  We may not see the rewards of our labor even in our lifetime. But there is certainty of a lasting reward that we can look forward to.

As you live, you train.” Live as a Nazarite, holy to the Lord, and your child will be a Nazirite unto God.”

 Duty is never measured by what we feel is in our power to do, but what God’s grace makes possible for us.”

We can’t know how much grace can enable us to do, until we begin doing His will. Grace is not given in big batches, but as we take our baby steps, grace follows.


We, Christian parents must realize that we are God’s ministers and God will provide grace every step of the way if we are faithful in our calling.

As we raise obedient children they will become profitable members of society when they turn adults. They will in turn contribute to our society and community. We are active evangelists. WE have  captive audience 24/7 as our children’s eyes and ears observe us as we proclaim the Gospel through our words and action. Only time will tell if we are successful or not. But by the grace of God there is a promise of success if we are faithful. we can hold on to that promise.  


Lord help us to give honor to Your name in our home by striving to be the leader you want us to be. Help us to realize that whenever our children disobey, they are dishonoring Your name. Help us, as we strive to become faithful in our duties, to rely on the grace that you continuously provide , grace that will never run dry. Help us to be faithful in our calling. In Jesus Name… Amen


Andrew Murray. How To Bring Your Children to Christ.

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